AP = Crazy

Here's the thing about parenting, there is no "right" way to do it. If you and your kids are happy and healthy - then it is working. It isn't working if you are frustrated, your kid cries all the time, your relationship is suffering...

Not too long ago, I ran into an acquaintance (another parent) and her friend while wearing Juniper on my back in a mei tai. We were chatting about dayhomes and I said that I'm not going back to work, but if I was, I'd want to make sure I found a childcare person who followed a similar style of parenting like babywearing. The acquaintance said to her friend "there are parents who don't just wear their kids for walks, but it is like a lifestyle to have your kid attached to you all the time. Like that crazy mom on the cover of Times." I answered, frankly, "I am one of those moms." Then went on to explain that we wouldn't have survived as a species if we hadn't worn our children. I explained cultural norms about 'extended' breastfeeding and co-sleeping using the Japanese as an example. I even explained it in a cultural perspective, since both my acquaintance and I are Aboriginal. 

The thing that got me about the interaction was being called crazy. This isn't the first or last time I've been referred to as crazy for my Attachment Parenting ways. D and I have been told not to have our child in our bed because it is like "allowing sled dogs into the igloo - they will never leave." I've been told that breastfeeding without bottles will mean Juni will only be attached to me. Don't even get me started on the looks and comments we get while wearing Juni instead of pushing her around in a giant stroller. 

AP parents are called crazy all the time. We are on the receiving end of judgmental comments thinly veiled as concern for our health and the safety of our children. We are seem as crunchy, hippies and unconventional. All for doing a parenting style that was very common up until about 150 years ago. 

People also assume that since we do one aspect of AP parenting that we buy into it all. D and I don't. There are aspects of our parenting that are strongly AP and even crunchy - not because we feel like we need to do those things to fit into a certain title - but because they speak to who we are as people and our natural instincts. 

I have friends who formula fed, had their children sleep in cribs from day 1, pushed them in strollers weren't stay-at-home parents...all non-AP things. I don't think they are crazy or bad parents. They have wonderful healthy children. They are strong as families.  

I hear parents say all the time "my mother-in-law says..." or "my doctor said..." and I ask "well, how do you feel about it?" If something feels fundamentally wrong to you, follow your instincts. We as parents know what our children need. When we ignore the signs and our inner voice is when we get into the whole "I don't know what my baby needs" thing. That doesn't mean you shouldn't read the books or consult medical professionals - you should. But, it means that you need to question the way you were raised and the advice you are being given. 

And for the love of god, let's not call each other crazy when we are trying to do the best for our families. 

Bullying

We see the word all the time. BULLYING. We know kids shouldn't be doing it. We know that some kids commit suicide because of it. Do any of us realize that we do it everyday? I have friends who work in anti-homophobic bullying initiatives. My parents do research in something called lateral violence in Aboriginal communities. Bullying is talked about a lot in my world.

I wasn't really bullied as a kid. I know this comes as a shock to a lot of people considering I was one really effing weird kid. I can name all of my bullies and the situations:
-age 3, family friend kept pushing and hitting me. With her parents' permission, my dad told me to hit her back. I punched her in the face. She never hit me again.
-Grade 3. A kid who I'm pretty sure was named Rocky. He kept throwing my indoor shoes on the muddy carpet in the mudroom. I played nice. Then my mom gave him a talking to.
-Grade 5. A girl in my class kept dropping her pencil under my chair and pestering me. I fake picked my nose and wiped it on her pencil when I picked it up. We became great friends in junior high.
-Junior high. A group of girls I was friends with told me not to be friends with another girl because of her religion. I told them to eff off. 

Me rocking a perm and headgear.

I've been bullied more as an adult in the work place. I've been the only one not invited for lunch. I've been made fun of because of how I dress. I've been called a prude (hilarious, if you know me). I've been screamed at for something I didn't do. I've been excluded because I wouldn't join in mocking another colleague's wife (who happens to be a good friend). I've had my projects ignored. I've even been told that I am "just a secretary" and my opinions don't matter.

I've always been a really confident person. I mean, I pulled off a perm, glasses and headgear. Then there was a period in my mid to late 20's where I felt like crap. It was after I dropped out of university for the second time. I felt like people thought I was stupid and my opinion didn't matter because I wasn't educated. And it was true. I was working entry level positions at jobs I was over-qualified for. I felt like crap. Then I followed my own advice, if you feel like crap - look at who you are surrounding yourself with and take action. So, I did. I got knocked up and left the work force so I'd no longer have to deal with adult bullies...or so I thought.

Then entered the world of "mommy wars." It is a real thing people. And it is ridiculous. The flame wars people have on formula vs. breastmilk. Whether or not to circumcise. Or even the fabrics you clothe your child in are insane. In real parenting groups and online ones, there are cliques. The crunchy moms over here and the chewy moms over there. I've been called "crazy" for being "one of those babywearing moms who breastfeeds forever." I'm crazy, but not because of babywearing. 

You can't always stop your bullies, but you can stop bullying yourself. We might not be punching someone by the bike racks for milk money, but we still bully. Gossip and exclusion are the 2 biggest ways adults bully. We have a rule in my family about talking about people. Before we say something about someone, we ask 3 questions: 1) is it good? 2) is it true? 3) is it helpful? We have to be able to answer yes to at least 2 of those questions. I challenge you all to ask yourself those questions. I challenge you to apologize when you have offended someone or hurt their feelings without accusing of "over-reaction." I also challenge you to call me on my shit. I'm a horribly negative petty gossipy person by nature. If you hear me talking crap, say "whoa..."

Like Ellen always says, be kind to one another. 

Cloth Diapering - Where to Buy

I keep getting asked "where do I buy cloth diapers?"

Here's my answer:

If you have a local store that carries the brands you like - shop there. Yes, they may cost a little bit more, but, chances are, the store is owned by a local mom. You can ask questions to a real person who will help you find the right fit and style for your baby. In Calgary, our awesome shop is Babes in Arms.

If you don't have a local store, look at buying from an online store that is local. For Canadian parents, look at buying from a Canadian online store. Each province/ city seems to have one. I haven't ordered from one, so I can't/ won't recommend one.

Another great option is Kijiji for Canadians. I started my stash from consignment diapers from BIA and used diapers from Kijiji. I highly recommend that you see what the diaper looks like new before buying used. People will claim the diaper is in EUC, when it is falling apart. I fell victim to that whole thing. I paid $80 for 8 Flip inserts, 2 prefolds and 6 covers (2 were terrible, 2 were okay, 2 were GUC) - was told everything was in EUC. 

I'd avoid Ebay unless diapers are being sold by an official eBay seller for that brand. It sounds silly, but there are counterfeit diapers. 

Happy stash building!

Family Mountain Trip

A week ago, we went as a family to Lake Louise and Banff. We stayed in a great room at the Fox in Banff - they have a grotto hot tub! We put Juniper in her bathing suit and headed down there, she hung out on the pool deck while daddy soaked. 

Fox

D surprised me with a mani-pedi at the spa at Chateau Lake Louise. I promptly ruined it by putting on my socks and boots too soon, but it was still nice to soak my feet for a while. We had a great lunch before my appointment and D got to spend some quality alone time with Juniper.

Juniper having lunch at Chateau Lake Louise

It was a bit of a foggy, drizzly couple of days in the mountains, but we still were able to get a few decent photos.

Lake Louise

Bug & Mommy

Daddy & Bug

Family self portrait

Thanksgiving

So much to be thankful for this year. 

Last year, my brother and his little family joined us for Thanksgiving weekend. My niece, Livia was 8 months old. I was pregnant. I looked at Livia and though "one year from now, I will have a baby just like you!" 

My mom joined us for Thanksgiving this year. She had a great visit with her grand-daughter. She fed Juniper a whole lot of frozen pumpkin. They laughed and cuddled. We took Juniper to the Farmer's Market. I always get so sad to see my mom go. Living 3 hours south of your parents is hard.

Juniper started crawling forward on Saturday after a couple weeks of going backwards. She sits up from crawling, spins herself around and launches herself at things she wants. She started drinking from a straw cup too! It is so amazing to see what she can do and how much she has grown.

We feasted too! Unlike a lot of my IG and facebook friends, I didn't take 50 pictures of my dinner. I was too busy cooking and eating. Our Thanksgiving menu was:

• herb crusted turkey
• sausage, mushroom and leek stuffing (the best I've made)
• lemon butter brussel sprouts (my favourite!)
• roasted root veggies
• smashed potatoes
• herb gravy
• pumpkin tiramisu

What are you thankful for this year?

Cloth Diapering - Washing Part 2

You've looked online at all the cute patterns. You've weighed the pros and cons of AIOs vs. pockets. You've committed to cloth diapers. Now, how the heck to you wash these stinky things. 

These are the steps I take:

1. Put diapers in washer. Make sure velcro is attached to itself or wash tabs.
2. Do a cold rinse. I run my delicates cycle.
3. Do a long hot wash with detergent with a cold rinse.
4. Do an extra cold rinse.
5. Hang covers to dry. Hang or toss prefolds and inserts in the dryer. 

That easy, folks.

Tips:

• sun bleach stains.
•  use extra detergent with hard water, less with soft water.
• use vinegar in the first rinse cycle with soft water. No vinegar in hard water.
• get your water as hot as possible.
• use as much water as possible in a wash.

Cloth Diapering - Washing Part 1

Thinking of cloth diapering, but worried about the burden of laundry? I get ya. Having a baby means you are having to do about 100 loads a week of receiving blankets, bibs, tiny clothes, sheets... for me, adding 1 extra load every 2-3 days wasn't even noticeable. I found it easier than reaching for a diaper at 3 am and realizing we only had 2 left and the nearest store didn't open until 8am. 

Don't:

• use a wet pail. Lots of old school cloth diaper moms will tell you to put your diapers in a pail with water to avoid staining. Gross. Don't do it. It leads to mould and a much stinkier mess. If you are washing on a regular basis, you are golden.
• bleach diapers. Again with the old school advice. 'The only way to kill the germs is bleach." Not true. Bleach is a nasty chemical. I don't want it near my daughter's bottom.
• use dryer sheets. Even in other laundry. They use beef tallow to soften laundry (that is gross on it's own) and leave build-up in your dryer. The scents and chemicals also really effect air quality in your home and can aggravate allergies and asthma. You can google how to clean the residue out of a dryer. Wool dryer balls are a great alternative.
• use diaper cream. It leaves a residue in diapers that takes a lot of effort to remove. A natural oil like coconut oil or All Things Jill diaper cream is an alternative. Even when using safe cream, only use if a rash is present, use sparingly and pop in a liner.

 Do:

• find a great diaper pail. We use the Motherease pail because it has a charcoal filter. It sits in the middle of our living room and no one smells anything. We line it with an Applecheeks wetbag so that I never have to wipe it out.
• wash every 2-3 days. Don't push it any longer or you will have mouldy diapers.
• use a diaper safe detergent. No dyes, no scents, no optical brighteners. Stick to something natural. We like Nellie's, but there are a lot of options. I won't list them all because if you are reading this, you can google. 
• use natural germ killers. Washing regularly, hot water, the sun, baking soda, and vinegar will kill bacteria. Don't use vinegar if you have hard water or you will have ammonia smelling diapers.
• sun bleach. I thought this was a crock - until I did it. My really badly stained prefold was spotless within one round of sun bleaching. Lay your diapers still wet in the sun. As they dry, the sun bleaches out the stains. You may need to do a couple rounds, but it really works.
• hang to dry. If you want your covers to last, hang to dry. I hang to dry all my covers and put prefolds in the dryer. Pop your covers in the dryer every 5th wash to reseal.
• strip your diapers. If they aren't absorbing well, they stink after one pee, you kid gets a rash - you need to strip those diapers. More on adventures in stripping later. 

  Washing instructions to follow.

Cloth Diapering - The 'P' Word

Here's the skinny on the dreaded POOP. 

When considering cloth diapers, this always seems to be the thing that scares new parents most. I never understood it. Babies poop. They poop a lot. Juniper pooped with every feeding in the beginning - every 2 hours. You will get poop on your hands, clothes, sheets, furniture, floor... You will scrub poop from tiny onsies. That's being a parent. If you don't want to touch poop, don't get knocked up or get a dog. 

So, poop and cloth diapers. It is no worst than disposables. Actually, it is much better. We have had 2 'poop explosions' since switching to cloth full-time. I got blowouts at least once a week with disposables. You can scrub a tiny expensive outit, or you can dump cloth diapers in the wash without ever touching the dirty poop with your bare hands - which sounds smarter? 

With cloth, I take off the diaper and toss it into a diaper bin lined with a big wet bag. Come laundry day, I pull out the wet bag and dump everything into the wash. NO POOP TOUCHING! You don't need to get a diaper sprayer or use liners if your baby isn't eating solids. Exclusively breastfed babies have water soluble poop. Most formula poop is also water soluble. Once your kid starts eating solids, you can use a thin disposable liner or a diaper sprayer. We opt for the disposable liner. These are advertised as 'flushable' but I've put more than a few through the wash and they don't break down quickly. I hate a clogged toilet, so I toss in the trash.

And, that folks, is poop with cloth diapers.

Cloth Diapering 101 - Starting the Stash

The number one question - where do I start? Followed by, how much does this cost? And then, what about the poop? (We will deal with poop and washing next post - promise!)

Types

Now that you know the types of cloth diapers, is there a type that stands out to you? Is there a type that makes you think, "no way"? When I started, I expected to hate prefolds. I ended up buying some to use as burp cloths. On laundry day, I decided to fold one and pop it in a cover - and I was hooked. Prefolds became my go-to diaper.

So, here is what I recommend, try a couple different types of diapers. Once you have a real live baby. Different diapers fit different babies. A diaper that fits your baby one month, might fit weird when they have a growth spurt. You will have the exact same problem with disposables. So, don't commit like crazy to one diaper all at once. Read online reviews. Oh, and ask your friends what they like.

Trial

Some local and online diaper stores offer trial packs. These are fantastic. Or, you can buy a few new diapers to try out. Or look at consignment diapers at you local store. Or buy used off of Kijiji or Craigslist. 6-12 diapers is good for a trial.

How many? 

Shout out to Babes in Arms for this info.

Recommended diaper layette (2-3 days of diapering):

• 12-24 Pocket diapers with 24 inserts

or

• 24 AIOs 

or

• or 24 Fitted diapers with 6-10 covers in each size and 3-4 nighttime diapers 

or

• or 24 Flat/ Prefold diapers with 6-10 covers in each size and 2-4 snappis 

and

• 6-12 extra inserts/ doublers/ boosters
• 1 roll of disposable liners
• 24-36 washable wipes
• 1 diaper pail and 2 pail liners
• 1 wet bag (for on the go)

Cost

This is up to you. Different types, different brands have different costs. Expect to pay between $200 and $800 for brand-new diapers. I am going to list American online prices, since most of the people asking are ladies I've met online.

Prefolds, fitteds and covers: Prefolds cost about $20/ 6. Econobums kit of 3 covers and 12 prefolds and 1 wetbag sells for $50. Bummis kit of 24 prefolds, 6 covers, 3 rolls of liners, 5 fleece liners and 1 wet bag sells for $180. Covers can cost between $10-20. Motherease fitted costs $12. Other fitteds can be $8-20.

Pocket diapers: Sunbaby sells for a kit of 24 for just over $100. Charlie Banana sells for $22/ diaper. Applecheeks sells for $20/ diaper (the best pocket to me). BumGenius sells for $18/ diaper.

AIOs: Anywhere from $15-30/ diaper. BumGenius Freetimes are my all time favorite and retail for about $20. Omaiki cost about $30/ diaper. There are cheaper options too with Kawaii baby.

Where to buy?

I know this might sound preachy, but support your local businesses. These are often Moms with tons of experience who can give you face to face advise. Sure, you might pay a few bucks more per diaper, but you are keeping a family fed and you will save money by getting the right diaper for you.

If you want to shop online or don't have a local store, buy from authorized dealers. Ebay often sells knock-offs of the big brands. A few online options are: Cloth Diaper Sites, Diaper Junction (they also offer a trial kit), All About Cloth Diapers, and Diapers.com.

Cloth Diapering 101 - Types of Diapers

I have a cloth diaper addiction. Seriously. I go nuts over a tiny padded bum. Since having Juniper, I've tried all the different types of cloth diapers (except bird's eye flats - I just don't get those). Just so you know, I only have used North American made diapers. There are cheaper options out there, I just haven't used them. 

I am not an expert. I don't work for a diaper store (yet?). This is just what we've tried and my own opinions. Oh, and the lovely ladies at Babes in Arms have been a huge help. If you are in Calgary, go there! Take their classes. Love them. 

So, you want to try out cloth diapering. I highly recommend trying out a few different types of diapers once you have an actual baby. This made a huge difference for me. Buy consignment diapers or look on Craigslist, Kijiji or where ever people sell their crap online where you live. 

This is a prefold with a cover:

Pros:

• cheapest way to cloth diaper
• only change prefold for wet diapers
• can use with snappis for traditional diaper folding instead of as an insert (as shown)

Cons:

• bulky
• 2 separate pieces
• need to fold or attach prefold with each change

Econobums cover with prefold (folded in thirds)

Econobum cover

Prefold

This is a fitted diaper with a cover:

Pros:

• next cheapest option
•  very good for heavy wetters
• only change fitted diaper with wet diapers
• great to add boosters/ doublers for night

Cons:

• bulky
• have to snap or pull on 2 diapers

Motherease fitted diaper

Snap in booster in fitted diaper.

Motherease fitted inside a Motherease Airflow cover

This is a pocket diaper:

Pros: 

• Very popular choice with lots of brand options
• can adjust inserts for wetness levels
•  quicker dry time than AIOs
• inserts don't shift like prefolds & covers

Cons:

• stuffing and unstuffing
• one diaper = one wear

Applecheeks pocket diaper with Bamboo insert

Applecheeks size 1 cover

Applecheeks bamboo insert folded.

This is a cover with an insert:

Pros:

• only change insert for wet diapers
• can use disposable inserts

Cons:

• not great for heavy wetters
• 2 separate pieces

Flip cover (similar to other covers)

Flip microfiber insert

Flip insert inside cover

This is an All-in-one diaper (AIO):

Pros:

• All in one means no separate cover and insert - all sewn together
• No stuffing and un stuffing like pocket diapers

 Cons:

• Expensive
• Take forever to dry (Freetime flips apart and takes less time - truly genius)

BumGenius Elemental

BumGenius Freetime (my favourite)

Cover options:

There are literally hundred of cover options if you use inserts, prefolds or fitted diapers. Everyone has their favourites. I hate velcro for the most part. I am terrible at remembering to attach it properly for washing and so my covers get stuck to inserts - Gggggrrrrr. I like snaps. I also like plain covers. There are tons of cute patterns out there, I just don't buy very many of them. There are one size or sized too. I prefer one sized because I'm cheap and don't want to have a bunch of different size diapers. You can use pocket diapers as covers too - just don't stuff the insert (the only microfiber safe for next to the skin is the BG ones).

Sustainable Babyish wool soaker - size medium

Wool is great for night use over a fitted diaper. Super absorbent. Crazy expensive though. 

BrookiEllen one-size cover (cotton over PUL)

 BrookiEllen used to sell on etsy. Her covers are very well-made and cute. The cotton layer over PUL is nice and soft. She also makes ruffle bums.

Bummis Superbrite - size small

Bummis make amazing thick PUL covers. The velcro has wash tabs on the inside! This cover was my favourite when Juniper was very little because of the gusseted legs.

Motherease Rikki cover - size small

Motherease covers are made in Canada! Cute prints. Don't like the lack of wash tabs since D always forgets to reattach the velcro.

Motherease Air Flow cover - size m/l

 We use this cover over the Motherease fitted with extra insert and an additional hemp booster for overnight. Another cute print.

BumGenius Flip cover - one size with snaps

 Flip covers are so versatile. Over a disposable insert, prefold, microfiber insert - whatever! Expensive covers.

Bummis SuperWhisper cover - size medium

Bummis is my favourite! So similar to the other one, just no extra gusset and cute print. We use all the time. Wish I had a snap Bummis cover. 

Extras:

There are all sorts of things to help cloth diapering. Booster/ doublers add absorbency. Liners make poop disposal easy.

Swimmis swim diaper

Why use a disposable swim diaper? These are super cute AND reusable! Check with your pool, some are fascists about using disposables.

Omaiki night diaper

Omaiki is another amazing Canadian company. So well-made. This is a fitted diaper with a pocket with an attached insert. Brilliant. So absorbent too. I just started using this with a hemp booster under the wool cover for night. So far, 8 hours and no leaks!

Motherease snap in booster

This organic cotton booster snaps into the Motherease fitted. Awesome.

Unknown contoured booster

Picked this booster up secondhand. Contoured is awesome for catching messy morning poops. The things you learn. Quickly. 

Bummis disposable liners

Disposable liners are essential for when you have to use a little diaper cream (no zinc!). Also a must for formula fed or solid eaters - if you don't want to spray or if you are on the go. They claim to be flushable, but I've accidentally tossed them in the wash and they survive. That means a clogged toilet to me. 

So, that is more or less types of diapers. Other great resources on types: your local diaper store (support local business for a few extra bucks), Diaper Jungle, Caterpillar Baby, Canada's Diaper Ladies, Bummis, and Ava's Appletree.

I'll explain storing, on the go, washing, poop, and stripping tomorrow.

If you have any questions, please ask! I can let you know my experiences.

Welcome to the Prairie Beehive

Oh, hello there! Welcome to the Prairie Beehive. I'm Kristie. And that little person on my lap is my 6 month old daughter, Juniper.

 
We live in Alberta with her daddy (and my wonderful husband) D and our cocker spaniels, Oscar & Lola. 

This is a blog about my experiences with natural living, attachment parenting, baby wearing, cloth diapering with little sprinklings of crafting, cooking and feminism.

So, there you have it. 

xo. Kristie